The Furious Angels

FA Discussion => Off Topic => Topic started by: Lithium on December 24, 2004, 11:40:07 pm

Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Lithium on December 24, 2004, 11:40:07 pm
Why Santa Can't Exist

1) No known species of reindeer can fly, but there are 300,000 species of organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not completely rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

2) There are 2 billion children (defined as persons under 18) in the world; However, since Santa doesn't appear to handle Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, or Buddhist children, that reduces the workload down to 15% of the original total - 378 million according to the Population Reference Bureau. At an average census rate of 3.5 children per household, that's only 91.8 million homes. One presumes that there is at least one good child in each.

3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west. This works out to 822.6 visits per second. That is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chiminey, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chiminey, get back into the sleigh, and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which we know to be false but will accept for the purpose of these calculations), we are talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus eating, etc. This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second. A conventional reindeer can run 15 miles per hour at the most.

4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-size set of Lego building blocks (about two pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that flying reindeer exist (see point 1), can fly very quickly (see point 2), and can pull ten times the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine, reindeer. We would need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparision, this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth 2.

5) 353,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance. This would heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they would burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within .00426 seconds. (At which point  Santa would be between the 4th and 5th house.) Santa, meanwhile, would be subjected to forces 17,500 times greater than normal gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

In conclusion, if Santa ever did deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Anonymous on December 24, 2004, 11:51:05 pm
Wow, that makes me happy and sad at the same time...
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Anonymous on December 24, 2004, 11:53:44 pm
Yes but Christmas Magic makes it possible! That and Coca-Cola.
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Eroz on December 25, 2004, 02:03:53 am
I'm sorry Lithium I had to put one more little point about that in. Edit (At which point
Santa would be between the 4th and 5th house.)
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Anonymous on December 25, 2004, 09:46:21 pm
i guess lithium got coal for christmas this year.
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Anonymous on December 25, 2004, 10:31:51 pm
I saw that text a few times.  Still cracks me up.

Santa on fire grasping to a supersonic sleigh, explosing reindeers, who could resist that ?

:)
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Lithium on December 17, 2005, 02:20:32 pm
I was going to repost but no sense since it already exists. :-)
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Eroz on December 17, 2005, 02:27:00 pm
Post from the dead. "Bring out your dead, Bring out your dead."
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Anonymous on December 17, 2005, 02:46:59 pm
"Im not quite dead"
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Kosila on December 17, 2005, 03:33:57 pm
Hummm I guess that's why Santa skips all the other countries and only comes to Canada ... :p


Quote from: "Orien"
"I'm not quite dead"


 CART MASTER:
    'Ere. He says he's not dead!
CUSTOMER:
    Yes, he is.
DEAD PERSON:
    I'm not!
CART MASTER:
    He isn't?
CUSTOMER:
    Well, he will be soon. He's very ill.
DEAD PERSON:
    I'm getting better!
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Lithium on December 17, 2005, 04:10:40 pm
The only reason Santa goes to Canada is because it is on the way.
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Avzeke (Khr0n1k) on December 17, 2005, 04:13:01 pm
hahhaha roflowned
Title: Re: Holiday Fun
Post by: Anonymous on December 17, 2005, 05:50:43 pm
Quote from: "Lithium"
The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they would burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within .00426 seconds. (At which point  Santa would be between the 4th and 5th house.) Santa, meanwhile, would be subjected to forces 17,500 times greater than normal gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

In conclusion, if Santa ever did deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.


I want to see a video of this.  :D
Title: Re: Holiday Fun
Post by: Anonymous on December 17, 2005, 10:45:12 pm
what make you time Santa can't stop time?
Title: Re: Holiday Fun
Post by: Eroz on December 17, 2005, 11:30:37 pm
What makes me think that Rorin can't type?
Title: Re: Holiday Fun
Post by: Manic Velocity on December 17, 2005, 11:48:22 pm
This is all a joke, right?  I mean, Santa does exist, doesn't he?  You guys are just trying to scare me.
Title: Re: Holiday Fun
Post by: Anonymous on December 18, 2005, 12:30:36 pm
stop lying, santa exists. he bought me lots of cool stuff!
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Kosila on December 18, 2005, 04:06:07 pm
Quote from: "Rorin"
what make you time Santa can't stop time?


Well actually, I once wrote a 10 page philosophy essay about time.

Existence is based on change of time. If time did not change, then nothing would exist. We all exist because we travel across several points in time. You must exist at each of these points in time to exist overall. Otherwise, you will cease to exist.

If Santa was able to be at a single point in time (if Santa were to stop time for himself), then he would no longer exist, since he would be frozen at a single point in time. When you cease to exist, then you can no longer unfreeze time since you don't exist to be able to unfreeze time. Furthermore, if you didn't exist, how could you deliver presents?

You could also look at it the other way. According to Einstein, the speed limit of any mass is the speed of light. If a mass were to travel faster than the speed of light, it would no longer exist (relative to other masses), since it would skip several points in time. But it can easily come back to existence at a future point in time because it still exists on its own timeline (ie. it is still traveling across several points in time, just skipping a few).

Santa could not come back to existence (after freezing time) because he is not traveling across several points in time. And if he was to travel at the speed of light, then his atoms would break down and, according to Epicurus, he would die and once again cease to exist.

EDITED: Changed the word "span" to "travel". Span isn't the right word :S
Title: Re: Holiday Fun
Post by: Eroz on December 18, 2005, 05:14:07 pm
That sounds like a fun paper.
Title: Re: Holiday Fun
Post by: Lithium on December 18, 2005, 05:45:07 pm
damn Canadians trying to sound smart.
Title: Re: Holiday Fun
Post by: Anonymous on December 18, 2005, 05:55:19 pm
your physics/philosophy is the devil!
Title: Re: Holiday Fun
Post by: Anonymous on December 18, 2005, 11:38:39 pm
w00t!
Title: Re: Holiday Fun
Post by: Anonymous on December 19, 2005, 01:22:40 am
But If he believe that he can be at many point in an instant then by your logic/philosophy, he can.
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Kosila on December 19, 2005, 02:03:39 am
Quote from: "Rorin"
But If he believe that he can be at many point in an instant then by your logic/philosophy, he can.


I changed the word "Span" to "Travel" to be more clear. Span wasn't the right word to use. :S
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Da6onet on December 19, 2005, 03:14:12 am
according to statistical mechanics, it is possible that everyone's presents could simply materialize in their homes every christmas. of course the probability of this occuring would be 1 in 10 dotrigintillion for each displaced atom of each present of each person at every instant of the average amount of time it takes said displaced atoms to travel to their new location in a 24hour period.

the other possibility, existance in a particular space and time is defined by a standard deviation graph that looks something like this (http://www.russell.com/us/glossary/images/std_deviation_graph.gif)

It has been proven, that things such as an electron, which are very small and move very fast, cannot be proven to exist in one particular place at one particular time, there is instead a range in which a particular electron could exist. The more particles in a defined range, the higher the probability, if you were to say "shoot" one, you would hit it dead on. Now take that scale to n dimensions and lets assume santa can drastically alter the standard deviations, say by using extreme gravity wells (he is a heavy man). then all of a sudden he could in theory exist in multiple places at once at many different points in time. It's somewhat hard to comprehend that since we interpret only 3 dimensions at a time, but it could explain why we never really see him in action, because he's not really "all there" when he delivers our presents.
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Anonymous on December 19, 2005, 07:05:13 am
w00t! Santa Does exist!!!
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Anonymous on December 19, 2005, 09:52:50 am
Or another theory...

franchise.
Title: Re: Holiday Fun
Post by: Lithium on December 21, 2006, 03:38:53 pm
It's that time of year again to give a bump to this thread for a third year. Be sure to read the first post.
Title: Re: Holiday Fun
Post by: Subb on December 21, 2006, 04:03:53 pm
But remember; Santa is special he may not be 100% human! Also his Reindeer's have a magic potion! Pirus told me! :D
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Lithium on December 21, 2006, 04:18:43 pm
The New Theory is Out

Title: Re: Holiday Fun
Post by: Manic Velocity on December 21, 2006, 04:33:34 pm
I knew he was real!  You can bet I'll be up all night on Christmas Eve watching the Norad website!

http://www.noradsanta.org/en/tracking.php
Title: Re: Holiday Fun
Post by: Lits on December 21, 2006, 04:53:41 pm
did you know, that NORAD got involved with tracking Santa in the 50's when a department store advertised a program to have children "call" Santa Clause to give him their wishlists, but do to a misprint, the phone number they dialed was NORAD. Instead of explaining the mix-up thousands of times over and dampening the spirits of children across the nation, NORAD decided to answer with, I'm sorry, but Santa's not here right here, he's ______ and thus, the NORAD Santa Tracker Team was born :) Now THAT'S Christmas Spirit, and THAT is what the REAL Santa Clause is all about. I'm 19 and I still believe in Santa :)
Title: Re: Holiday Fun
Post by: Tecknik on December 23, 2006, 09:21:59 am
I'm 20, and I believe in Santa. :) But damn...  That BTTF.com video was awesome!  Hooray for DeLorean Time Machines! :D I want one, even if it isn't a time machine.
Title: Re: Holiday Fun
Post by: Manic Velocity on December 24, 2006, 01:25:05 pm
I thought this was funny...

(http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y25/tofutticutie/xmascard.jpg)
Title: Re: Holiday Fun
Post by: Lithium on December 20, 2007, 06:19:22 am
It's that time of year again for the Santa Holiday Story! Just go back and read the very first post in this thread, which was posted 3 years ago now!
Title: Re: Holiday Fun
Post by: Manic Velocity on December 20, 2007, 11:59:33 am
Holy balls, did I really think that "Maury Christmas" thing was funny only a year ago?

Thank god I've matured since then.  :p
Title: Re: Holiday Fun
Post by: Pirus on December 20, 2007, 01:10:51 pm
I enjoyed how everyone else commented on the Maury Christmas picture :) lol
Title: Re: Holiday Fun
Post by: Sared on December 28, 2007, 02:05:24 pm
Quote from: "ManicVelocity"
Thank god I've matured since then.  :p


BULLSHIT.



Classic post revival Lith. :)
Title: Re: Holiday Fun
Post by: Lithium on December 24, 2008, 06:15:18 pm
Alright, its that time again. Year 4.

Remember to check out the first post again!
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Broin on December 24, 2008, 08:33:03 pm
Alright alright... I'm going to reveal something I swore I never would.  Okay here it is folks

(http://myspace.studiodifferent.com/santa-military.jpg)

That's right bitches I'm Santa Broin...
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Eroz on December 24, 2008, 10:45:09 pm
Oh the history the FA has.....
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Tbone on December 25, 2008, 02:48:58 am
Quote from: "Broin"
Alright alright... I'm going to reveal something I swore I never would.  Okay here it is folks

([url]http://myspace.studiodifferent.com/santa-military.jpg[/url])

That's right bitches I'm Santa Broin...


And that's me in the middle with the cool shades and headgear and Lithium's the one in the back who is about to fall over from carrying all my shit!
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Manic Velocity on December 25, 2008, 10:05:11 am
Quote from: "Broin"
Alright alright... I'm going to reveal something I swore I never would.  Okay here it is folks

([url]http://myspace.studiodifferent.com/santa-military.jpg[/url])

That's right bitches I'm Santa Broin...


Damnit!  I was hot on the trail of the Easter Bunny!  I was certain it was you.  All the evidence added up.  

And now this.  All those years of sleuthing for nothing!  NOTHING!
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Broin on December 25, 2008, 05:27:05 pm
Tbone Wrote...

And that's me in the middle with the cool shades and headgear and Lithium's the one in the back who is about to fall over from carrying all my shit!

Now that there is just plane funny as shit... And so true  :p
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Anamodiel on December 25, 2008, 06:06:43 pm
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Sared on January 03, 2009, 08:32:59 pm
>.>

<.<


/goes back under his rock
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Lithium on December 20, 2009, 02:04:33 pm
Happy Holidays 2009!

Along with year 5! As always, go back and enjoy the very first post.
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: ArchNemesis on December 20, 2009, 08:17:27 pm
I love this thread. lol
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Manic Velocity on December 24, 2009, 08:34:47 am
I'm already sick of Christmas.

Next year I'm going to fly to New Zealand where it's warm, and far far away from family.
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Anamodiel on December 24, 2009, 09:20:07 am
Fly to the Bahamas or Costa Rica. It's warmer and more tropical and less like Christmas.
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Orphaeus on December 24, 2009, 03:25:27 pm
Quote from: "ManicVelocity"
I'm already sick of Christmas.

Next year I'm going to fly to New Zealand where it's warm, and far far away from family.


You lucky bastard, I'll be stuck with my family for years to come...
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Lithium on December 24, 2010, 12:21:35 pm
It's that special time of year again for some holiday realization! Go back and read the first post.

Happy Holidays 2010!
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Anamodiel on December 24, 2010, 12:39:59 pm
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Keeloth on December 24, 2010, 01:00:34 pm
Merry Christmas, and hilarious stuff!
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Subb on December 24, 2010, 03:12:46 pm
Quote from: "ManicVelocity"
I'm already sick of Christmas.

Next year I'm going to fly to New Zealand where it's warm, and far far away from family.



Well did you... huh, huh?! :p
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Arawn on December 24, 2010, 05:23:09 pm
Hahaha very funny post.

Merry Xmas for everyone!!
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Eroz on December 24, 2010, 06:59:56 pm
Happy Holidays!
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Broin on December 24, 2010, 09:16:45 pm
That is why Lithium always gets coal and snowman poop
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Arawn on December 24, 2010, 10:14:53 pm
Hahaha

http://www.flushtv.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/snowman-poop.jpeg
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Bellthazor on December 25, 2010, 01:18:37 pm
I was going to put up a Happy Holiday Post, but see that Lithium had this great one already here...lol

Hope everyone has a Great Holiday, Merry Christmas!!!!
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Manic Velocity on December 25, 2010, 01:44:33 pm
(http://imgur.com/ZGsu1.jpg)
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Broin on December 25, 2010, 05:55:46 pm
Now I am just sad again  :'(
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Broin on December 25, 2010, 07:27:28 pm
And now searching for stuff  :2'(


http://www.dipity.com/timetube/YouTube_MMO/
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Manic Velocity on December 25, 2010, 08:37:32 pm
Quote from: "Broin"
Now I am just sad again  :'(


I know. I look terrible in a V-neck. But that picture was taken before the red/white tie and vest combo.
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Ash on December 25, 2010, 10:02:56 pm
Oh Come Now!!  How can we forget this...

Merry Christmas Everyone!

(http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a283/Shinzui501/Furious%20Angels/FuriousAngelsXmas.jpg)
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Manic Velocity on December 25, 2010, 10:38:20 pm
Love Broin's pose in that one.
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Arawn on December 26, 2010, 02:51:37 am
Quote
Love Broin's pose in that one.


Ok... I wasent around by the time of that... But how can you tell which one is Broin?!
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Manic Velocity on December 26, 2010, 10:32:17 am
Quote from: "Arawn"
Quote
Love Broin's pose in that one.


Ok... I wasent around by the time of that... But how can you tell which one is Broin?!


Most of us here played MxO together for the majority of its lifespan. Eventually you start to recognize everyone's RSI.

Or maybe I'm just weird.

There's quite a few others that I recognize as well. Some are no longer with the faction, however.
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Lithium on December 22, 2011, 07:03:37 pm
Merry Christmas 2011 & Happy Holidays to all you Atheist Motherfuckers!

As always go back and read the first post--from 7 years ago!

(http://liquiware.net/images/humor/ernest_christmas.jpg)
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Eroz on December 23, 2011, 01:00:50 pm
This explains everything.....

http://thefrogman.me/post/14674351507/now-santas-playing-with-portals
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Strod on December 23, 2011, 05:30:40 pm
Quote from: "ManicVelocity"
Quote from: "Arawn"
Quote
Love Broin's pose in that one.


Ok... I wasent around by the time of that... But how can you tell which one is Broin?!


Most of us here played MxO together for the majority of its lifespan. Eventually you start to recognize everyone's RSI.

Or maybe I'm just weird.

There's quite a few others that I recognize as well. Some are no longer with the faction, however.


You are not alone, I see people names when I look at their RSI's from days of old. I still miss the Matrix.
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Anamodiel on December 23, 2011, 05:37:34 pm
I look forward to this post every year. :)
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Lithium on December 17, 2012, 08:13:21 pm
Merry Christmas Year 8!

Let's keep the Christ in Christmas!

Original Post contains classic fun and here is some new entertainment that I just recorded on the VCR.

Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Manic Velocity on December 17, 2012, 09:39:33 pm
I forget about this post every year, and it is always a blast going through it again.

Eight damn years already.  Seems like only yesterday that Ana was begging his parents to let him stay up late so we could conduct his interview.
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Sared on December 18, 2012, 04:39:07 am
Got a good laugh. Right in the nostalgia. Was impressed that Broin had some of the oldest imagelinks that weren't dead. :P
Title: Holiday Fun
Post by: Anamodiel on December 18, 2012, 06:11:24 am
Quote from: "ManicVelocity"
I forget about this post every year, and it is always a blast going through it again.

Eight damn years already.  Seems like only yesterday that Ana was begging his parents to let him stay up late so we could conduct his interview.


I still think a bedtime for a 14-year old is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of and will never subject my kids to such a terrible ordeal. It was so embarrassing.
Title: Re: Holiday Fun
Post by: Lithium on December 20, 2013, 07:19:50 pm
Merry Christmas - Year 9!

(http://liquiware.net/images/humor/bad_santa.jpg)

Approaching the dawn of a decade! Don't forget to re-enjoy the very first post.
Title: Re: Holiday Fun
Post by: Manic Velocity on December 20, 2013, 07:57:50 pm
If you want a real blast from the past, open the "General" forum, click to the very last page, then work your way backwards through the old threads.
Title: Re: Holiday Fun
Post by: Sared on December 21, 2013, 03:42:01 pm
Old times, good friends.
Title: Re: Holiday Fun
Post by: Lithium on December 24, 2014, 11:47:26 pm
Merry Christmas! - Year 10!

Enjoy the yearly OP!

(http://deadshirt.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/jingle1.jpg)
Title: Re: Holiday Fun
Post by: NoCry on December 25, 2014, 11:22:11 am
Happy xmas
Title: Re: Holiday Fun
Post by: Lithium on December 25, 2014, 04:23:13 pm
Do they actually celebrate Christmas in France!
Title: Re: Holiday Fun
Post by: Lithium on December 24, 2016, 05:54:08 pm
Merry Christmas Year 12!

We must have lost last year's post in the server crash.
Title: Re: Holiday Fun
Post by: NoCry on December 26, 2016, 05:33:08 pm
But to answer your question, yes...
Title: Re: Holiday Fun
Post by: Lithium on December 24, 2017, 07:26:36 pm
Merry Christmas! Year # 13!


My favorite number. As always enjoy the OP!

(http://www.abc.net.au/news/image/234668-3x2-940x627.jpg)
Title: Re: Holiday Fun
Post by: Lithium on December 24, 2018, 08:26:29 pm
Merry Christmas! Year 14!

Have fun with the original post even though it's getting old!