The Furious Angels
FA Discussion => Off Topic => Topic started by: Anonymous on September 21, 2004, 08:46:23 am
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I submitted a story to IGN a while back, and it has found its way onto the Fan Fiction section. Take a look if you want, and comment on what you think.
http://mxovault.ign.com/View.php?view=Fiction.List&category_select_id=1
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Maybe we should bring back the Captain thingy if we do sign up.
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Awesome story Ajax
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Yeah I read it from top to bottom, and I gotta say that it is quite good. It's just some plot points seemed a bit fuzzy to me, but that's ok.
Unfortunately with my born instinct of wanting to see blood, I wanted John to die horribly when he shot himself, but I have to say that I'm glad Ajax is with us.
All in all, great story Ajax...And OZ -Wrong thread bro....
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Thanks guys, but hey, I can't have killed John because that wouldn't be too matrix like. Suicide is just another door..... so to speak. And eclipse, I would appreciate knowing the plot fuzz. They can be pretty helpfull.
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ONe of the plot points that didn't really make too much sense was when he shot the agent....I mean you don't "shoot" an agent, not unless you were like point blank up on him and he was un aware.
Also, when John was first being recruited by Fox and the other individual, after he got away Fox shouted "We're trying to set you free, don't you see that?" In relaity this would never happen. They were too cautious for something like that to happen. Also the way he kept just killing people seemed a bit over my head, but then again he was English inteligence, so that's quite possible. The only final thing would be how he ended up in the real world. Kid only ended up because he believed that the real world was fake and he believed Neo was the one, what did John Faust believe in? No offence, but that's the only things I see that hinder your story from complete greatness.
Other then that Ajax awesome - great job!
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I see your qualms, and I would put forward these points as a counter. Sure, the agent thing is slightly far-fetched, but the agent definintly wasn't expecting him to fire, let alone fire at him, and although this might have been avoided by superfast agent thinking, I find it unlikely, secondly, I would probably say that Fox's outbreak was due to built up emotion and anger at two things, the first is that she was disarmed by a blue pill, and the second is that he is getting away. Somehow I think that would get pretty much any FA member pissed off. And lastly I can't really explain how he got into the real world. I am not so sure that Kid believed that the Matrix was all around him, that this was not the real world, but rather he believed that there was something wrong with the real world. In that same way, Faust was getting pretty messed up by what was happening; crazy men in suits who don't talk, wierd flower-sales people, and attempted abductions. All this leads towards the idea that this is definitly not normal, and while he did not work it out entirely for himself, the speaker on the phone filled in most of the blanks, allowing him to become certain that the world is not as it seems.
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Good thinking, I don't inted to debate, so I won't. Just one last question though...Were those guys regualr agents, or were they Smith?
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Well, seeming as the game is set after the last film, I would be safe to say they were regular.