The Furious Angels
FA Discussion => Off Topic => Topic started by: Shouousan on August 13, 2005, 02:10:25 pm
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Ok small disclamer because I know someones going to take this seriously over the top if I don't, While I think all the FA can deal with it it's a joke, really.
Dear Red States...
We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and
we're taking the other Blue States with us.
In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington,
Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We
believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially
to the people of the new country of New California.
To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.
We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Elliot
Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.
We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.
We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.
We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.
We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You
get Alabama.
We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states
pay their fair share.
Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the
Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a
bunch of single moms.
Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and
anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at
once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have
kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no
purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their
children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and
hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our
resources in Bush's Quagmire.
With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent
of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple
and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of
America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners)
90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most
of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and
condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Harvard, Yale,
Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.
With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88
percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care
costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the
tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern
Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh,
Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.
We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.
Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was
actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred
unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say
that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved
in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy b*****ds believe you are people
with higher morals then we lefties.
By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt
weed they grow in Mexico.
Peace out,
Blue States
More Cali love!
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/end.php
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yes... but we get 96% of all nukes to scare u back into the union, and 74% of all statistics are made up on the spot =P
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I thought it was 86% of statistics are made up on the spot.
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yes... but we get 96% of all nukes to scare u back into the union
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And that is the EXACT reason why I'm not scared, because you have the nukes, because math says that you use them on you're own soil you're good as dead. :P Heres to the blind leading the blind, Hoozaah! ;)
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well u can keep all those lean clean healthy wealthy states, miami has the most gorgeous women in the world, second to none. ill take that anyday with my fat ass, lame education, and empty wallet =P
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SWEET!!
(i live in illinois)
hehehe .... go corn country!!!
.... err .... i swear i'm not redneck O_O
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redneck implies ur from the south =P
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Dammit you bastard. Ole Miss is like an hour from my hometown. I don't like the school, but you still suck.
99% of America's mosquitos population is in my hometown.
Screw you and your stereotypes. At least the Terminator isn't my governor! Trump card!
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Yeah! You rooted biatch!
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If you think the Govenator is staying, you're wrong, When Cali breaks we're kicking him out, no ands ifs or ... buts.... *sigh*
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good job tbone! ^_^ score 1 for the inbreeders
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Dear Blue states,
I dont like you.
(joke)
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Uhmm... Yeah there is no such thing as a blue state... There are however red states... Take a look at things when you narrow it down to county by county
http://www.princeton.edu/~rvdb/JAVA/election2004/
Pretty easy to see where all the whacko's live :D
http://www.esri.com/industries/elections/graphics/results2004_lg.jpg
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Oh and sorry for the double post but... You've just been stunned, dev. fielded, pacified, blinded, disarmed, despoiled, bottlenecked, and code nuked biotch :D
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And pwned
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Sorry Tbone it sucks to be at the bottom:
http://web.njit.edu/~oxc9148/2004election_by_iq.jpg
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HAHA forgot to read the small print. "This does not mean to be taken as fact." and it was done by the UK lol
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Sorry Tbone it sucks to be at the bottom:
http://web.njit.edu/~oxc9148/2004election_by_iq.jpg
Hey, I got a 31 on my ACT. What did YOU get?
And yeah, the education system sucks here. That's why I went to a private school.
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*shrug* Give California another decade or so and It'll fall off. :)
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LOL!
I live in Canada :)
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shhhhhhhhh canadians have no say in red vs blue .... waaaaait ..... o_O