Bash.Org

[Anonymous]

oh wait almost forgot this one. its a classic.
#120296 +(4290)- [X]

<link>once upon a midnight dreary, while i pron surfed, weak and weary, over many a strange and spurious site of ' hot  xxx galore'. While i clicked my fav'rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning, and my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour, " 'Tis not possible!", i muttered, " give me back my free hardcore!"..... quoth the server, 404.
<hokage> *cries*, scary....

what a coincidence, i was just trolling thru bash.org yesterday, hadnt been on it and months, and poof, now this topic shows up.

[Anonymous]

My favorite of all time is this

<kittengirl>I luv guys where would they be wifout uz girls?
<goodbloke>Still in the Garden of Eden you gullible bitch

Classic

[Anonymous]

My favorite of all time is this

<kittengirl>I luv guys where would they be wifout uz girls?
<goodbloke>Still in the Garden of Eden you gullible bitch

Classic

ROFL

[Anonymous]

what ever happened to that post about p-p-p-powerbook, thats the best ever!

[Anonymous]

that wasnt a bash quote, just a funny tale

[Anonymous]

who the hell cares, still funny as hell

[Anonymous]

http://easynetworknyc.com/powerbook/

ttp://www.p-p-p-powerbook.com/images/g4%20resized/laser.jpg

[Anonymous]

This one has to be my favorite.

<turno> I want to fuck Michelle's brains out with my huge fucking cock, over and over again .. and then her sister can come and join us too.
<Seeker> Err turno, your mom reads the quotes on bash.org?
<turno> I'll fucking KILL YOU! !
<Seeker> Your mom does work for the church ? If she reads what you just said she'd be pretty angry right?
<turno> Dude you have no fucking clue, don't seriously... you'd be ruining my life.
<Seeker> Don't worry, I won't post it.
[Privmsg] <Seeker> Hey dude, I'm gonna paste something - will you post it on bash.org?
[Privmsg] <opiate> the turno thing? haha you fucking bastard!!
[Privmsg] <Seeker> hehe his mom's gonna fucking kill him, drag him to that church they go to and get the priest to sodomise him.
[Privmsg] <opiate> yeah and then he's gonna come fucking kill us, still I reckon it's worth it;)
[Privmsg] <turno> You're not gonna post it are you ? Please don't .. I'm begging you.
[Privmsg] <Seeker> I'm not gonna post it:) and even if I did she'd never know that your nick turno was her son Michael Savu .
[Privmsg] <turno> *phew* spose you have a point

But I just came across this one, and  have to add it to this list.

Rabidplaybunny87: Okay, so my neighbors officially hate me
GarbageStan23: why?
Rabidplaybunny87: Well, me, david and andrew were having a bonfire in the backyard, and we were making s'mores and all... and suddenly we here sirens, and see a firetruck turn into the street in front of us.
Rabidplaybunny87: So we all went running to see what was up, and our neigbor's house was on fire!
GarbageStan23: oh shit!
Rabidplaybunny87: Yeah, and when we got there, the wife was crying into her husbands arms, and we were just kinda standing there, and then she saw us, and then like for 10 seconds, gave us the dirtiest look ever
Rabidplaybunny87: Turns out, we were still holding our sticks with marshmallows on it, watching the fire....
Rabidplaybunny87: talk about bad timing...

This is the last one... I swear...

SparTacus (rulimbaww@3B942731.dsl.stlsmo.swbell.net) has joined #santcuary
*SparTacus is now known as Betty_Guns
wacko Jacko (lbeedy@1C57684.dsl.stlsmo.swbell.net) has joined #santcuary
<wacko_Jacko>ok spartacus just came n here i know it. which one of you is that loser?
<hunney> I am spartacus
<ji_pper>no im spartacus
<Betty_Guns>I am spartacus
<mistr andersn>I’m spartacus
<wacko_Jacko>ur all freaks thats what u r

[Anonymous]

Can anyone dig up the cereal mascot one? I can't really be bothered, but it is bloody funny.

[Anonymous]

#75154 +(3620)- [X]

<Galactic>  you know what's ALWAYS bothered me? cold cereal mascots
<Galactic>  I mean that is just some FUCKED UP SHIT
<Galactic>  the Trix rabbit, for example
<Galactic>  I dunno man... if I were him I'd be fucking KILLING some kids
<Galactic>  I remember a commercial where the fuckin rabbit WENT INTO A FUCKIN STORE AND BOUGHT A BOX OF TRIX WITH HIS OWN FUCKIN MONEY.
<Galactic>  fuckin kids came outta NOWHERE and basically fuckin mug the poor stupid bitch rabbit
<Galactic>  "silly rabbit Trix are for kids"
<Galactic>  Fuckin rabbit just sits there and looks depressed.
<Galactic>  FUCK NO that wouldn't fly with me
<Galactic>  I'd have pimp-slapped EVERY ONE OF those fuckin bitches
<Galactic>  and made them go get me the REST of a "complete breakfast" and eat Trix right in front of them bitches and THEN beat the shit out of them some more.
<Galactic>  and wtf is with the disguises? All the dumb rabbit does is hide his ears and all of a sudden he's a fuckin kid?
<Galactic>  I dunno about you, but if I SAW a 6 foot fuckin RABBIT with his ears tucked under a baseball cap, I wouldn't immediately think
<Galactic>  "Hey, there's a cool lookin human kid, let me go over and share some of my cereal with him"
<Galactic>  NO.
<Galactic>  I'd be thinking
<Galactic>  "that's a 6 foot fuckin RABBIT with his ears tucked under a baseball cap... what the FUCK was I just smoking?"
<Galactic>  another thing... wtf is up with cereal being "A part of this complete breakfast"
<Galactic>  last time -I- checked, cereal WAS breakfast
<Galactic>  they show a big ass bowl of frosted flakes next to a waffle, a pancake, toast, a banana, a fuckin grapefruit... who the FUCK eats a breakfast that big
<Flaming_Duck>  not me
<Flaming Duck>  I don't even EAT breakfast nomore
<Flaming_Duck>  I mean, I eat when I get up
<Flaming_Duck>  but the whole thought "BREAKFAST IS ONLY SERVED UNTIL SUCH AND SUCH TIME"
<FLaming_Suck>  bitch, you make my fucking sausage and egg sandwich when I pay you the fucking money
<Flaming_Duck>  don't give me that shit.
<Galactic>  Back to stupid cereal mascots...
<Galactic>  Lucky Charms.
<Galactic>  FUCKING LUCKY CHARMS
<Galactic>  Lucky can turn the fucking MOON into a marshmallow, and he can't escape a bunch of fucking 6 year olds?!?!?
<Galactic>  C'mon now, Lucky.
<Galactic>  I KNOW your bitch ass has got to have a "Blow the fucking kids up" spell SOMEWHERE
<Galactic>  or make "kid marshamllows" and EAT those bitches.
<Galactic>  "They're after me Lucky Charms!"
<Galactic>  ....
<Galactic>  KILL THEM, BITCH!
<Galactic>  I dunno why I went off on this rant here
<Galactic>  it's just always bothered me."

[Shouousan]

<xterm> The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?

That was the best one I ever read.

[Anonymous]

I just remembered this one.

<Clockstopper>If we put all the criminals in the world on some derelict continent, and then turned up like 50 years later, what do you reckon they would say?
<Bigape>G'day mate

[Avzeke (Khr0n1k)]

all these quotes are way better when it is really late and your delirious. because I just woke up and I dont find as much humor in it

[Anonymous]

I'm going to post some quotes that involve me, and sometimes Adrenaline or Manic.  If you're easily offended, don't read them.


My personal favorite...

<oddity_> I'm opening up the gamecube box, right?
<Grifter> right
<oddity_> and they have a bag with warning labels in, like, eight different languages
<Grifter> right
<oddity_> "you could choke on this."
<Grifter> i have the same warning on my dick


This quote was in our IRC channel during the elections when Manic and Adrenaline decided to run for President of IRC...

<Grifter> hey
<Grifter> d-ren has a running mate
<Grifter> I'd like to be manic's running mate
<Grifter> together we'll clean up IRC for the people!!
<dataw0lf> bah, you're so full of rhetoric.
<Grifter> hahah
<dataw0lf> what are you going to do for ME?
<Grifter> handjob
<dataw0lf> Ah, sweet.
<dataw0lf> You got my vote, buddy.
<Grifter> together we'll give handjobs to the people!!


Next...

<ManicV> i just reached into a bag of corn nuts when i meant to go for the sunflower seeds
<ManicV> it was really weird when i expected to taste sunflower seeds
<Grifter> damn, i wish my life was as exciting as yours


Next...

<Grifter> you know, there's a certain satisfaction a man can take when he has completed the consumption of a 16oz container of vanilla cake frosting
<Grifter> and now, I will be sick
<dedhed> heh
<Grifter> fuck, the ingredients on this icing are "Sugar, Vegatable Shortening"
<Grifter> my left arm just went numb
<Grifter> my chest hurts
<Grifter> i taste copper
<Grifter> gah!


And last, but certainly not least...

<Grifter> oh, it's funny, in a, i better laugh so the gnomes won't steal my brain, kinda way
<lola_> there are brain stealing gnomes?
<Grifter> duh!
<para_> yeah, you've got to watch out for the gnomes..they're evil
<lola_> I will never sleep again
<Grifter> come to my house, I'll keep you up, if you know what I'm sayin'
<Grifter> and i think you do
<proto> Ya, he has a nintendo.
<Grifter> booyah!!!
<lola_> you're going to give me a make over
<Grifter> well, there will be a facial
* kampfeh covers his mouth
<proto> OMG!
<proto> GRIFTER IS SOOOO NAUGHTY!
<Grifter> hahahaha

[Anonymous]

Ive got some as well, same applies, if easily offended, they might not be fot you.

<Adrenline> sweet, I just got the coolest email, Subject: Kinky Whores From Hell With No Inhibitions!
<proto> Oh good, I was worried i had the wrong address.

<eco> Lost is such a quality program.
<eco> Why can't all television programs be this good?
<Adrenline> because you touch yourself at night.

<Elimist> Ugh, that was a nightmare
<Elimist> Just invited a friend of mine onto an IRC channel I frequent
<eco> Did he tell everyone you were gay?
<eco> I do that to Tierra all the time
<eco> Hey everybody! Tierra is gay!
<eco> See.
<D-Ren> Elimist: first of all, we arent friends, second, stop inviting me to #littleboysandpriests

<ManicV> a few years ago at work, i was on hold for so long i forgot i was on hold
<ManicV> i just had a headset on, and the bastards weren't playing any music
<ManicV> ten minutes later i hear "how can i help you?"
<ManicV> scared seven shades of crap out of me
<dedhed> Did you almost catch your weiner, zipping up?
<ManicV> yeah

<ManicV> two men are on a boat, one named /hop the other named /quit. /hop jumps off the boat, who is left?
<-- zero_0 has quit (Quit: zero_0)

<[ManicV]> watching the simpsons and irc'ing on the comfiest bed in the quietest room in the house
<[ManicV]> i could die happy
<com4> shame you won't
<com4> you'll die alone and sad

<dedhed> Yeah
<dedhed> your mom did
<dedhed> But she quit before you got on
<tierra|h> that's who it was
<Adrenline> she got on. and got off!
<tierra|h> ^5
<tierra|h> wait...
<tierra|h> damnit!

<-- influx` has quit (TOMMY, NO!)
<Adrenline> I'll take "things said by pamela anderson before she called the cops" for $200 alex

<Adrenline> ugh. 45min to render 5 minutes of filler. what I wouldnt give for a rendering farm right now.
<OldSkoolS> your penis?
<Adrenline> hmm, maybe, but then again my penis can be put to good use while I wait